The TV critics are currently raving about the new Mamma Mia! movie at the present but I don’t ‘do’ those sorts of films and couldn’t be less interested if I had a gun held against my head. Most of the time, I don’t even do regular box office hit movies but I DO enjoy niche B-Movies so to get away from the mainstream media’s insistence on shoving Abba songs down my throat, I decided last night to watch Psycho Cop, a 1989 horror/slasher film that I’d not previously viewed.
Now I wasn’t around in the 1980’s (I just missed out being born in ’90) but I can imagine that a film like Psycho Cop must have felt outdated even then, at the end of the decade when it was released. All of the slasher cliches are correct and present from cars refusing to start to false jump scares and the most stupid assemblage of victims that must wander off alone to investigate strange sounds. As a fan of these sorts of movies, I expect all of that (it’s part of the charm after all) but Psycho Cop fails to deliver even a competent, braindead slasher flick for several reasons.
The plot is as basic as you like and follows a group of six teenagers heading to secluded woodland and a luxurious house that they’ve scored for the weekend thanks to two of the characters (Zack and Eric) having unlikely success with some stocks. I say “unlikely” because when I saw how stupid these characters turned out to be, I had to wonder how they’d even heard of the stock market. Anyway, a rogue satan-worshipping cop named Vickers (played by Robert R. Shafer) has decided to follow the kiddies to their weekend getaway with the not-so-subtle intention of observing and then murdering this particular movie’s axe/knife/bludgeon fodder. The only other main character is the house’s unnamed caretaker who bites the dust first after making the silly mistake of heading into the woods alone in pursuit of his stolen axe. With that sort of decision-making, he kind of deserves his fate, wouldn’t you say?
Shafer’s titular cop is the only redeeming factor of the movie.
The main problem with Psycho Cop isn’t the bare-bones plot itself but the lifeless, wooden feel to the movie. The characters are all one-dimensional and spend the entire time going around in circles. Doug and Laura won’t shut up about the caretaker and his sudden disappearance while the others weary of what they perceive to be their friends’ paranoia over nothing. Zack is a stereotypical beer-slugging cool kid with a cool haircut but no brains, Julie is the high-maintenance, stroppy blonde obsessed with her hairbrush and Eric is her beer-swigging boyfriend who just wants to get her into the woods alone. They spend the majority of the film arguing about whether something is actually going on around them or not, the group finding relief in what they believe are misunderstandings or Laura/Doug’s paranoia after investigating a noise or personal possession going missing. The cycle repeats itself several times before any of the core six characters actually die at Vickers’ hands.
There are also FOUR separate occasions where one of the charaters has misplaced something and elects to go off alone to find it. The most far-fetched of these is possibly Julie going into the woods to look for her hairbrush which she couldn’t possibly have dropped in amongst the trees when she’d clearly not moved from pool up until that point. Then there’s Eric scouring the patio outside in the dark…for a toothbrush. It certainly felt like the film’s scripters were clutching at teeny-tiny straws when it came to writing feasible reasons for the characters to end up alone in places where Vickers might be able to get at them.
The acting is pretty poor too and makes Psycho Cop even more difficult to watch when the characters have no real personality and are impossible to invest in. The only cast members who appear to have gone on to bigger and better things are Cindy Guyer (Julie) and Robert R. Shafer himself, both of which had subsquent movie and TV appearances with Cindy Guyer finding further fame as a cover model for hundreds of romance novels.
Most of the group soon lose interest in the fact that somebody has constructed crucifix-like crosses in the woods…
All of this might have been forgiveable if the horror and action was up to par because let’s face it, a LOT of horror films have vacuous plots and questionable acting. Sadly, this is another major area in which Psycho Cop manages to disappoint. It takes far too long for Vickers to begin picking the group off and by the time the killing did start, I was bored of all the false scares and glimpses of Vickers’ hand or foot as he hid out of sight. The film is also surprisingly tame with a little gore and some brutal kills but nothing outrageous or particularly graphic compared to the likes of Nightmare on Elm Street for example. Swearing is at a minimum and there’s no nudity or sexy stuff to speak of which is also odd for an 80’s slasher film so if you’re looking for redemption in the form of boobs then prepare to be disappointed.
The star of the show and one redeeming factor is Robert R. Shafer’s titular cop himself. Robotic and sporting a wide-eyed, manic expression of glee when cornering a victim, he comes out with some awesome one-liners which are fantastic in their awfulness. He adds some much needed humour and a little presence to an otherwise extremely flat film. I’m not sure that Psycho Cop is worth watching for Shafer alone but the character of Vickers’ is entertaining nonetheless. It’s just a shame that the movie takes ages to get going and that Vickers has so little screen time next to a group of dumb teens who are not enjoyable to watch.
To conclude, I could only recommend Psycho Cop to a hardcore B-Movie fan who would watch anything within the genre, no matter how trashy or low budget. For everybody with not so wide-encompassing tolerances, I’d say don’t bother. There are no shortage of superior alternatives that were produced either side of 1989 and I’d include even the very worst and most far-fetched of the Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th sequels (you know the ones) in that. Still preferable to Mamma Mia! though…
Yes, you read that title correctly: I’ve bought some games that I have no intention of playing. None at all. Zero, zilch etc. That’s not to say that I’m not interested in playing them (because I am) but my primary intention behind these quick online purchases was something a little different.
Some sealed PS4 goodness. Likely to stay that way.
So here we have Star Ocean: Integrity & Faithlessness, Root Letter and Akiba’s Beat. Three sealed PS4 games that fall under the JRPG umbrella or – in the case of Root Letter – the ‘Visual Novel’ category. Now it’s important to quickly mention that these ARE my sorts of games and usually I’d be very much looking forward to playing them. However, my gaming time – especially for large RPGs – has shrunk drastically in recent years so considering I already possess a terrible backlog of games, it’s unlikely that I will be getting around to these any time soon.
What these games represent is the beginning of a bit of a speculative experiment centred on the black art of investing in sealed games. It’s a side of gaming that I’d traditionally roll my eyes at or leave to those with too much money on their hands but recently I have been looking at ways to make my money work for itself over the medium-term since the 9-5 grind simply isn’t enough. I looked to sealed collecting because gaming (as well as trading cards) is something that I know about so I feel quietly confident about what I will choose to put money into.
The biggest reason however is because I believe it to be incredibly foolish not to look back at past trends and see what the pattern is. JRPG’s and niche titles with small print runs have ALWAYS shot up in value over time due to a relative low supply versus your mainstream FIFAs, Call of Dutys and Halos. Look back at similar titles for the original Playstation or have a glance at the PS2’s JRPG’s library. How many times have you looked at a shocking going rate for a used ten year-old title and thought “man, I remember when these were everywhere for a fraction of the price. I wish I’d bought loads of these when I had the chance!”. This is the past trend that I’m talking about.
Look back even further at SNES games like Terranigma. Never exactly peanuts to pick up but once upon a time, very easy to find at carboot sales, second-hand stores etc.
Now I’m not going to go mental and spend megabucks on loads of sealed games. What I plan to do is (whenever I have a bit of spare money) search for cheap deals and offers on mainstream sites such as Amazon because today’s £10.99 clearance game is tomorrow’s £30 hot property on the likes of ebay. As another collector once stated on a gaming forum I used to frequent…
Always keep an eye on the here and now.
He was spot-on too and this mantra goes for any sort of calculated investing. Money is easy to make on past investments because there are more people desperate to get their hands on something they missed than people looking to predict which of today’s available products are worth buying and putting to one side.
The cheapest of these games was Star Ocean which set me back £7.99 including shipping to my door. On that level of investment, you can’t lose. Star Ocean is a cult JRPG franchise (living in the shadow of the likes of Final Fantasy) and so it is a known name among followers of the genre. Even if there IS no future interest in this game, it will still be saleable (in sealed condition) for not much less than £7.99 in the worst case scenario. The other two games were between £10-£13 apiece so represent a slightly riskier investment but this price for sealed current generation software direct to your front door is still a bargain and there are many more like it to be bagged now while they are still dropping in value.
And if I do manage to get rid of that pesky backlog or come across a reason strong enough to make me desperate to play one of the games I’ve put aside as an investment? Well I’ll have the games in my possession and would probably be perfectly willing to rip the plastic off one or two of them since I am first and foremost still a gamer.
Either way, I enjoy playing around with investing into physical product so this for me is a fun little experiment that I may post updates for whenever I’ve accumulated a few more bits.
But I did say in the title that I also bought a game that I WILL play didn’t I?
Denied to us in the West but English subs and menus save the day.
I’ve been after this for a long time now because while I do own the PS4 version of the game, I’ve been doing a lot more handheld gaming of late and since I’ve not gotten around to even starting its bigger, home console sister, I couldn’t resist grabbing this Asian-English copy of Dead Or Alive Xtreme 3 from ebay. A childish part of me also felt like rebelling against the recent announcement that Dead Or Alive 6 would be growing up somewhat…
For anybody not in the know, PSVita (and PS4 for that matter) games are region-free and these Asian-English editions of the games come with English menu text and subtitles so are perfectly playable without any sort of language barrier-induced confusion. The DLC I’m not sure about but I don’tintend to look too hard at that side of things as I know that there will be masses of it for a game like this! In any case, I have played DOAX3 a little bit and will post my thoughts in a dedicated piece sometime soon. I’ll close my showing off the two editions together in one picture…
…or to be more precise, I’ve been playing Crash on my Vita but before I get into the game itself, I feel a mini rant coming on that needs to be vented and said rant regards the mess that is the Playstation Store. I already have Crash Bandicoot 2 on my Vita and I know that Crash 3 and CTR are also both available to download but the original? I had to find the game on the website version of the store (where it is marked up as only being compatible with the PSP and PS3), pay for it then dump it on my Vita by accessing my download list from the Vita. What a ball ache! So not only does the game not show up on the Vita version of the Store but it also doesn’t list the Vita as a compatible platform (when it is). I had to go through the exact same process to download Medievil to my Vita and it highlights how poorly organised the store is. In fairness, it does serve the PS3, PS4, PSP (through no longer directly) and the Vita but the whole thing needs updating and putting into some kind of order without the need for the daft download methods I have had to endure simply to get hold of an old PS1 game.
The positive side is that the store does at least still have all of these crusty old games to download unlike Nintendo’s versions of their e-shop which eventually get removed from existence once a superceded console is no longer worth supporting in the eyes of its creator. Plus, I have read that US gamers can’t even get the original Crash via the workaround (due to licensing issues) so as a British gamer, I must count myself lucky in that respect.
But anyway: Crash Bandicoot!
I did of course play this game (as well as the sequels) back in the day so me downloading the original to my Vita was because I fancied a nostalgia trip. I’d already downloaded Crash 2 for convenience’s sake and completed it but I no longer have my original copy of the first game so it was a case of necessity rather than convenience this time. Plus it was £3.99 which is a complete steal versus the price of used physical copies of Crash Bandicoot. I do always prefer an original hard copy (as my physical PS1 collection amassed over the last twenty years affirms) but I’m also no longer so snooty about going digital when I feel like it.
The biggest thing that my modern-day play-through of Crash Bandicoot has revealed however is that this game is tough! I certainly didn’t remember it to be so unforgiving but compared to the sequels, the original Crash is definitely a much crueler game that often demands the sort of platforming skills of a player that 8 and 16-bit games in the genre did. Most of the time though, I would say that losing lives is entirely avoidable and purely the player’s fault. In this respect, I’ve cursed at the screen and gritted my teeth on many occasions but I’ve also known that failures are my fault and not due to cheap game design. This is what the Mario games do so well and we can rage about how demanding old games are/were but this is what we were used to at the time. Games have become – to an extent – very easy and hand-holdy with safety nets everywhere, greater concern being shown to keeping the player happy rather than giving them a challenge. Both approaches to entertaining a gamer are valid (because sometimes I don’t want an aldrenalin-fuelled experience after a long day at work) but I do sometimes lament the loss of actual, fairly-weighted challenge in games.
The opening jungle levels are perhaps the most iconic in the first two Crash games. General gameplay mechanics are introduced at a reasonable pace.
The most prominent issue relating to the difficulty is the game’s save system. You can only save your progress by reaching the end of the bonus round (which you have to access from within a stage by collecting a set of three pick-ups from crates) or by breaking every crate in a stage and collecting a silver gem as a reward. The game also features a password system because this was an early Playstation release that didn’t demand the ownership of a memory card but even so, you can’t retrieve a password without actually reaching save point in the first place. What this means is that failing on a bonus stage puts a fair bit of pressure on the player to ensure that they reach the next one and don’t screw up a second time. If you are attempting to smash all of the crates within said bonus rounds then plummeting to your doom is easily done and you only have one shot of clearing a bonus round so there is a distinct lack of forgiveness.
As for genuinely unfair game design, it only really rears its head on the warthog stages where Crash leaps stop said beast and you have to steer them through all obstacles in your way. I say that these stages can be unfair because there is some trial-and-error involved with the timing of some of the moving obstacles and it can take a few failed runs before you know in advance whether to move left/right or jump/duck out of the way of something. The stages where Crash must run towards the screen with a giant Indiana Jones-style boulder of doom in hot pursuit are similar but I managed to clear them pretty easily with reflexes alone.
These levels (with their distinct lack of footing!) will really test your reflexes…
Otherwise this is just pure platforming action that tests reflexes, timing and accuracy. The controls are spot-on so it’s all down to the player to get right. The game does a very good job of introducing new forms of hazards and giving the player a fair chance to see how they work before gradually throwing more and more for them to deal with. For example, you won’t be expected to jump across three flaming torches in a row without first being given one to handle on its own with lenient timing between the flame switching on and off. The same goes for rolling millstones, falling platforms and all manner of hazards. This is why the game is – aside from the few bits I previously picked out – completely fair: it introduces new obstacles and gradually ramps up the quantity that you must deal with in one go or the strictness of any timing involved.
It’s also worth mentioning that Crash’s reportoire of moves is much more limited here than in the sequels so there’s no sliding or belly-slamming – just jumping. This makes for a very pure platforming experience that blended (at the time) the old-school 2D traits that we’d just left behind with a fresh, into-the-screen 3D perspective. There are many 2D stages however which betray the transitional period between the 2D and 3D eras of gaming but the mix of both styles helps keep things varied. The only negative aspect of the 2D sections in my opinion is the fact that Crash isn’t ‘locked’ to the ground so despite being asked to walk left/right, you can still slip on the controls and end up walking over the edges. This is especially frustrating in the bonus stages where you are desperate not to fall! Thankfully (in this specific case) the game doesn’t support analogue control so if you are careful and stick to the left/right buttons on the d-pad then you should be safe.
Slippery ramps, spikes, elevators…what could possibly go wrong?
What I really enjoy about the original Crash Bandicoot is the sense of achievement (and relief!) upon clearing a stage, especially with all crates smashed which is a pretty smug moment. I also really enjoy the challenge of the later levels where checkpoints are spread out further, one mistake = doom and you feel as if you are being pushed to your limits of endurance and reflexes with some of the stages and what they demand of you. But getting through these stages after many attempts (and much swearing) is what makes that sense of achievement all the sweeter. After all, isn’t it better to really earn something than have it given to you?
It would also be a sin for me to wrap up this review without mentioning another of Crash Bandicoot‘s defining characteristics: the humour. From Crash’s facial expressions to the general cartoon-like vibe of the game, everything feels fun and playful even when the difficulty is up and the stages do their best to appear dark and menacing later on. The audio is simple but classic with funky backing music and charming sound effects that are unmistakably from a Crash game. This is also one of those rare 32-bit games that has clearly aged but done so with grace. Like with the Spyro games, Crash Bandicoot didn’t push for realistic graphics and so the exaggerated cartoon-like approach still looks great today and pretty sharp. Contemporaries from the same period that tried to look “real” can often be shocking to behold in retrospective with jagged edges, awful smudgy textures and laughable (by today’s standards) attempts to get near photo-realism. Not so here.
Overall, I have very much enjoyed returning to Crash Bandicoot. It’s probably my least-played of the original Naughty Dog-developed games so there’s the added bonus of not being overly-familiar with it. It’s also a perfect fit for the Vita so if you are able to get it on there then I highly recommend doing so. PS4 remasters next?
I’m not a totally mainstream gamer (as you may have noticed) so when everybody got a bit excited over the likes of the new Fallout and Elder Scrolls games that were revealed at this year’s E3 event, I was pretty much nonplussed. It was similar case with many big names that were shown to be returning for sequels either later this year or in 2019. It didn’t used to be this way either because in years past, there’d be so much coming out of E3 events that I wouldn’t know where to look first and while this was great back then, I now see some value in only coming away with a few games that interest me. After all, money and time are both finite resources so not having around twenty upcoming titles on my wanted list is actually a positive thing. So what did catch my eye then?
Dead Or Alive 6
I’ve already spoken about DOA6 so I won’t rabbit on about it too much here. In brief, it’s another awesome-looking fighting game from a series I’m already a fan of so a brand-new installment is a good thing. Team Ninja are apparently trying to grow up at last (moving out of their parents’ house and getting a mortgage not yet confirmed) and tone down the boobs so that will be interesting. I’m hoping that they don’t go too far with the whole getting serious thing but I will definitely buy this regardless.
Tales of Vesperia Definitive Edition
As a big fan of Namco’s Tales series, I’ve always been well served by owning every Playstation console to date. However, the last generation threw a curveball in the form of Tales of Vesperia, a critically acclaimed installment in the long-running franchise, which became an Xbox 360 exclusive back when Microsoft were determined to attract fans of Japanese games to their system. Save for the original black slab, I’ve never been an Xbox owner so I missed Vesperia the first time around and was pretty peeved that an eventual upgraded PS3 port remained a Japan-only release complete with incomprehensible language barrier. Thankfully, a new ‘Definitive Edition’ is coming to various platforms including (yay!) PS4 so I will at last be able to play this game. I’ve recently gotten back into JRPG’s and the Tales series with the two superb Xillia games on PS3 so this news is fantastic timing.
Cyberpunk 2077
It wasn’t until it was pointed out to me on a gaming forum that I remembered Cyberpunk 2077‘s original teaser from waaaaaay back in 2013. That trailer ended with a statement along the lines of “ready when its ready” and boy, they weren’t kidding were they? Five years later, the game looks completely different and all the better for it. I absolutely adore anything Cyberpunk-y that even vaguely resembles the likes of Blade Runner or Ghost In The Shell so Cyberpunk 2077‘s detailed futuristic vision is right up my dystopian alley. I’m not sure whether it will a first or third person game at the moment but either way, this is something I will almost certainly pick up just for the art style alone.
Metal Wolf Chaos XD
The (very pleasant) surprise of E3 2018 has to be a the remaster of Metal Wolf Chaos for PS4 and Xbox One, due later this year. Surprising because of it’s obscurity and pleasant because of it’s notoriety as one of the sparse reasons to import Japanese games for the original Xbox. The game is a batshit-crazy mech-style affair starring the president of the United States and while the game itself isn’t meant to be anything super-special, it’s one of those that can sell itself on sheer madness alone. The original Xbox was a very western-orientated console that barely performed in Japan and as such, the number of games worth importing can be counted on one hand. Hardcore Xbox collectors have been spreading the word for years about Metal Wolf Chaos however so the fact that we will finally be able to play the game natively is very welcome. I am still genuinely shocked that something this niche is being revived but who’s arguing?. Not me.
Team Sonic Racing
Not strictly an E3 reveal since the game was already leaked pre-E3 but since a new trailer was shown at the event, I thought I’d throw it in here anyway. Developed by Sumo Digital who were responsible for the superb Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed (THE best Mario Kart game to date), the footage revealed thus far shows only Sonic characters but even so, I have high hopes for this one based purely on how good its forerunners were. I’m not sure if I will enjoy it as much if there aren’t any additional Sega characters/representation as in Transformed but even so, it’s a racer that I’m definitely interested in. Fans of the Sonic Adventure era games will also be pleased to see the return of Crush 40 on soundtrack duties so open your heart for this one.
Fist Of The North Star: Lost Paradise
Even though I have no knowledge of the legendary Fist of the North Star, I have to take an interest in this awesome-looking beat ’em up purely because it’s from the same team behind Sega’s Yakuza franchise – one of my favourite things ever in gaming. The gameplay shown at E3 looked suitably brutal and over-the-top so this is one that I will be quietly keeping an eye on.
Resident Evil 2 Remake
It disappeared for a long time but now – just like one of its own zombies – the highly-anticipated Resident Evil 2 remake has resurfaced at E3 2018 (with a January 2019 release date) and man does it look good! Anybody who has played the original Playstation classic will instantly recognise the locations shown in the trailer but otherwise, it looks all-new with an over-the-shoulder Resi 4 style viewpoint and quite graphic, gory violence. I’m very excited for this game because RE2 is probably my second favourite game in the series after RE3: Nemesis and it’s going to be great to return to a virus-ravaged Raccoon City without all the baggage and divisive direction that some of the most recent sequels came with. I really hope that this a success and Capcom follow-up with a Nemesis remake in the same style.
Doom Eternal
Old-school FPS favourite Doom was a critically-acclaimed success when the franchise was recently revived but even so, this freshly-revealed sequel was still a surprise and a sweet one at that. Looking set to take its cues from Doom 2: Hell on Earth, Doom Eternal should be one hell (I’ll get my coat…) of a no-holds-barred blaster with a lot more enemy designs promised this time around. I still need to get around to playing the recent Doom reboot but Doom Eternal goes straight onto my wanted list based solely on how much I enjoyed the original games and their attitude of pulling no punches.
Fire Emblem: Three Houses
I’ve not kept up with the Fire Emblem series since the superb Awakening on the 3DS and with valid reason. I found Fates to be an extremely dull follow-up that had taken too many anime tropes onboard and it had me questioning whether the franchise had become a waifu simulator. Not owning a Switch, I missed out on the Heroes spin-off and I’ve not as of yet picked up the last 3DS installment which was a remake of one of the classic Famicom Fire Emblems (so possibly all the better for it?). This newly-unveiled sequel for the Switch however looks mighty tasty with high production value. It’s certainly a step up from previous home console versions such as Path of Radiance which – while an excellent game – was a bit fugly in the graphics department and didn’t really push the host hardware at all. But then, am I calling the Switch a home console? Is it really? Regardless, this is the kind of thing that makes me want to a buy a Switch so it gets a huge thumbs-up from me.
Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
I honestly thought that I’d gotten over falling for Smash Bros. hype. After all, where could they possibly go from the last game save for mixing up the roster and adding in a few new bits from recent Nintendo games? How about an ‘Ultimate’ version featuring every single character – no matter how minor – that has ever been playable throughout Smash history? Oh and coming even further out of the left-field by granting the wild fan-favourite wish of a playable Ridley from Metroid? And the naysayers said it could never happen because Ridley was “too big” to be a playable character…
If the promotional artwork above doesn’t get you excited about this then I’m not sure what will. Bringing back everybody ever for one overcrowded character select screen is a simple move but a genius one that should please most people. Even more impressive is that Nintendo seems to have secured the use of all previous guest stars hence the return of MGS‘s Snake who hasn’t been seen since Brawl on the Wii. Again, I’m feeling the need to buy a Switch!
So that was E3 2018. Okay, so my “few games” turned into a ten-strong list in the end and Betheseda DID sneak in there thanks to Doom Eternal so call me a liar and sue me. The big absent elephant in the room was the Final Fantasy VII remake which seems to have vanished for the time being. Like Resi 2 though, I have no doubt it will use a Phoenix Down on itself and return before long. Shenmue III and Kingdom Hearts 3 were two other disappointments given how both games have been knocked back to 2019 now. Overall though, a pretty decent E3 showing and more than enough to get hyped for.
One of the more interesting pieces of news to come out of the past weekend was the official announcement of Dead Or Alive 6, the follow-up to the popular fifth main entry in the infamous fighting game series which spanned three revisions and two generations of home consoles. Dead Or Alive is a series that just keeps on going regardless of the current popularity of the genre so a new game is never a huge shock but this time, there IS some surprising impressions to take home from what we’ve seen so far.
Hyper-realistic expressions and damage are apparently going to be the focus rather than boob jiggle in Dead Or Alive 6.
On the surface, there’s a lot that will look familiar to anybody who played the last game: interactive environments, a cinematic feel and fast-paced fighting. The big surprise this time is that the developers are apparently going to be lowering the focus on sexualised female characters, a move that has invited considerable disappointment from some corners of the online gaming community. The trailer shows no sign of the series’ famous (or infamous) exaggerated breast physics and costumes are more conservative. Could this be Team Ninja finally growing up? The following quotes from an interview with IGN certainly point in that direction:
“We wanted to make a more cool and more mature Dead or Alive this time, and to that end we made a conscious decision to make characters less sexualized,”
“The female characters are still attractive, as are the men, but first and foremost they are fighters,”
It makes sense on one level. Dead Or Alive has always had a fantastic fighting system with its punishing reversals and counter-holds separating rookies from practiced players but the games have struggled to be taken seriously with some fighting game tournaments even banning select outfits from being used due to their highly revealing nature. It seems that Tecmo are pushing for their established series to gain some credibility at last but will this alienate a large chunk of the fanbase? Can Dead Or Alive stand up on the basis of its fighting system alone?
I would say “yes”. I’ve always rated the games because despite their button masher-friendly combos, they still feel very different to rivals. Combos and movement in general felt very fluid and organic in DOA5, contrasting with the rigid inputs of Tekken for example. The cinematic style of fights was also quite entertaining and didn’t detract too much from the established rules of how a fighting game works.
The outfits may be more practical this time around but fans of the series’ classic ‘values’ probably need not be concerned too much; the girls will still look attractive (and busty enough) if the above screen is anything to go by.
But it should also be noted that the very traits that Tecmo seem keen to tone down this time around are what helped Dead Or Alive 5 become so successful and make them some good money in the process. The new female characters became instantly popular and the game featured a ludicrous amount of costume DLC including many fabric-starved designs that still sold well despite the high price tags. Let us also not forget that the spin-off, Dead Or Alive Xtreme 3, was also massively popular and a hot import for us Westerners who didn’t receive an official version of the game. Tecmo weren’t daft though as the Asian release of the game features full English language subtitles/menus. The point of all of this is to remember that the series didn’t suffer and lose sales because it ramped up the sexiness – quite the opposite actually. In this respect, you can say that Tecmo-Koei and Team Ninja are rolling the dice.
Personally, I really enjoy Dead Or Alive‘s silliness and have purchased quite a lot of the DLC. As I have said in other posts, I see gaming as escapism that encompasses everything that DOA does (or should I say “did”?) and while some may turn their noses up at big bouncy breasts, too many impractical bikinis or gratuitously detailed perspiration, I’m not ashamed to say that I enjoy it all. It’s just a bit of fun at the end of the day and I’m fairly positive that spending a lot of time with the games hasn’t turned me into some sort of raging pervert with no respect for real-life women. As a wise person once pointed out on some gaming forum or another many moons again, the characters are designed to look sexy and appealing on purpose – there’s nothing wrong with “falling” for the marketing.
The main concern that this shift in tone invokes in me is the same one that I felt when Capcom felt the need to censor Rainbow Mika and Cammy’s intros in Street Fighter V or when Omega Labyrinth Z was banned for us UK consumers earlier this year: the concern that our medium of entertainment is bowing to political correctness and moving away from sexy females in order to pre-emptively avoid complaints while appealing to a generation of consumers who place female empowerment and equality above simple, harmless escapism. That may seem like an extreme reaction but I won’t apologise for wanting the unrealistic and fantastical in my videogames when I sit down with a controller after a hard day’s work or when I fancy a quick break from real-life tribulations. My concerns are less about what’s happening in DOA6 and more to do with the bigger picture of what we are increasingly being told to accept is “wrong”.
Maybe we’ve seen the end of such outfits?
But let’s also be real for a moment. The women of Dead Or Alive are still going to look attractive and booby enough. Yes, the developers want the female characters to look more realistic and warrior-like but I can tell you now that the alterations will not be that drastic. Remember that the same promises were made before DOA5 launched and the likes of Kasumi and co. ended up looking more detailed than before, not necessarily different. Most importantly, if DOA6 builds upon DOA5‘s fighting then the game will be very enjoyable to play and another nice alternative to what is already available.
And as much as I enjoyed DOA5‘s fanservice, there were several features that totally weren’t necessary and undeniably ventured into the realms of “childish” and “ridiculous”. One such inclusion was the ability to shake the controller which made the girls’ breasts bounce all over the place, usually in a totally unrealistic and unattractive way. There were also multiple settings in the options menu for altering the extremity of breast jiggle which seemed like a step too far even in my opinion. Setting this to “natural” was more than enough for me. If anything, it’s these sorts of things that I wouldn’t mind losing.
So there are several questions facing us before DOA6 launches in 2019. Will it still be a good fighting game? (I would bet money on the answer being “yes” for that one). Will Tecmo drive away more of its fans than it expects? Are they just fibbing about toning the whole thing down? Most of all, should DOA forsake its USP just to “grow up”? It’s like Netherealm Studios announcing that they will tone down the violence in the next Mortal Kombat if you think about it, which we all know would never happen. Clearly bloody, graphic death = shrug of the shoulders but boobs = the devil. Something about that ain’t right.
To conclude my thoughts on this announcement, I will say that jumping to rash conclusions and slamming Tecmo at this early stage would be foolish. The game will still be great and the girls will still be attractive so there will at least be an awesome product next year, however much they tone down the things that make the franchise (in)famous. I think the development period of DOA6 is going to be interesting and it will be fascinating to see how far Team Ninja go with this.
*WARNING – Potentially NSFW images included in the following post!*
Earlier this year, the first game to be refused an age rating here in the UK – and effectively banned – since 2008’s Manhunt 2 fell foul of the Video Standards Council who decided that Omega Labyrinth Z for the PS4/Vita will not be permitted for sale in Britain. Publisher PQube (a company well-known for localising niche Japanese software for us Eurozone dwellers) appealed the decision but failed to change the VSC’s mind. The game was also refused classification in Australia, Germany and Ireland, leaving the United States as the only recipient of Omega Labyrinth Z outside of Japan. The game is expected to be rated as a 17+ “Mature” title.
So, what is so bad about Omega Labyrinth Z that it invited near universal condemnation? Let’s break it down and see what exactly we’re dealing with here…
The Game
Omega Labyrinth Z is – on the surface – nothing special or wholly original. Scratch that; it’s completely unoriginal seeing as how the game is a roguelike dungeon-crawler of the type that we have seen too many times to count. For those that don’t know, the “roguelike” label describes a subgenre of dungeon-crawlers, usually unforgiving in nature with randomly-generated dungeons to loot and enemies that move when the player character moves. Player death usually results in a complete loss of loot so risk/reward is the nature of the beast. The genre saw somewhat of a revival thanks to the likes of the Nintendo DS and PSP though the games were still niche and usually only on the radar of importers. One notable series that broke somewhat into the mainstream however was the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon spin-offs.
The OG Roguelike originally released in 1980 was called…erm…Rogue.
But enough of the history lesson. It isn’t the core gameplay itself that has attracted the dreaded ban hammer unless it’s now a crime to punish unoriginality in the world of videogame development (not actually a terrible idea now that I think about it…). Hopefully, this brief overview of the game’s plot from Wikipedia will explain the actual reason:
The game follows a group of girls as they explore a dungeon in search of the fabled “Holy Grail of Beauty”, which is said to be able to grant any wish. Protagonist Aina Akemiya searches for the Grail in order to increase her chest size, as she feels uncomfortable about her small breasts.
In itself, that usually wouldn’t be enough to warrant a ban. It’s the usual titilliating, Japanese fan-servicey stuff that is commonplace in anime and the anime-styled JRPG’s that Japan has been pumping out for years now, many of them being localised in the West without issue. The overriding detail that pushed things too far in the eyes of the Video Standards Council was the fact that the game takes place in a girls school and involves characters that look and sound distinctly underage.
As the girls traverse dungeons, they defeat the monsters within and release “Omega Power”, an energy which increases their stats as well as the size of their breasts, the latter depicted with animations that show their clothes ripping open, exposing their bras. In addition to this nonsensical seediness, unidentified items are appraised by wedging them between one of the character’s breasts and shaking them about (though it is worth noting that this animation is entirely skippable for those who don’t wish to see it). Other points of note are the special items that allow the player to “touch” one of the characters in order to boost their stats as well as defense-boosting equipment coming in the form of underwear.
That’s pretty much the game: another uninspiring roguelike experience dressed up with racy elements designed to titillate.
The Controversy
The VSC here in the UK were not impressed by any of this. Naturally, the fact that the characters are depicted as schoolgirls when all of this hyper-pervy stuff is going on was never going to down well but the touching element as well as the removal of clothing seems to have cemented their decision that the game should be refused an age rating certificate. This comes at a time when we as a society are experiencing the frequent media exposure of child abuse crimes, grooming gangs and online sexual exploitation of minors so it is understandable that organisations such as the VSC will not want to be seen to grant such risque software a retail release, even with an 18 certificate.
The game is completely unashamed. Ratings boards equally unshamed in their damning of Omega Labyrinth Z.
The VSC justified its decision to ban the game by saying that Omega Labyrinth Z‘s content would be “unacceptable to the majority of UK customers” and that it posed significant harm to the “moral development of younger people”
The refusal to grant classification also affects any digital release of the game on PSN.
Analysis
Okay, so we know what the game is about and we know why we won’t be getting it here in the UK (and the the other aforementioned locations). Let’s talk about it: should Omega Labyrinth Z have been treated this way?
The very first thing I wanted to bring up was the fact that this game is a sequel and the original wasn’t localised at all. In fact, it wasn’t even attempted and subsequently blocked. It was just another breast-obsessed anime-styled RPG that was destined to remain in Japan along with countless other games over the years that have centred on similar themes. These sorts of games are pretty normal for the Japanese market and so the initial issue for me is that trying to release a game such as Omega Labyrinth over here is always going to result in a clash of culture. Is it so different to how such “normal” acts as kissing in public or consuming alcohol in the street are considered crimes in the likes of Dubai? Some things are simply considered to be wrong in certain cultures and attempting to bring the two together will result in inevitable resistance from those wishing to protect their culture/society.
In the case of my aforementioned Dubai example, those in power do not wish for their society to be influenced by Western customs. Similarly, the VSC here in the UK – as well as the authorities in general – will not wish to permit the sale of entertainment that appears to promote sexualisation of underage girls. On a moral basis, it’s not really a decision that can be argued.
What we can say is that publisher PQube should have known much better than to even try in the first place. There is undoubtedly a market for such software because Japanese games with similar themes have a niche following all over the world and at the end of the day, PQube are a business and they wouldn’t have attempted to spend money localising the game if they weren’t certain of a profit on their print run of Omega Labyrinth Z. With this been said, wouldn’t it have been fairly obvious that they’d be battening down the hatches and fighting off a storm of criticism over a game that features schoolgirls’ shirts bursting open for the gratification of the player?
Despite the outrage over Omega Labyrinth Z, we’ve actually been seeing stuff like this for years now. It’s nothing new.
Well, perhaps notas obvious as you may think and this leads me into one of my pet peeves regarding the ratings systems: one game getting banned while other similar titles hit the shelves without receiving any attention at all.
To date, SIX Senran Kagura titles have been released here in the UK, all without any blockade. These third-person beat ’em ups feature female ninjas who also look of questionable age. Gratuitous panty shots and utterly titanic boobs also star in this series of erotic fighting games while one of the spin-off games in the series (Peach Beach Splash) takes the form of a third-person water pistol FPS and yes, there are bikinis and no, not many of them are what you’d describe as modest.
A similar lack of fuss was shown when Tecmo added the brand-new character of Marie Rose to Dead or Alive 5, one of gaming’s most sexualised franchises. Though classified as being an eighteen year-old, the character definitely doesn’t look it and you have to wonder – with all of the skimpy outfits available for the characters – why this wasn’t queried.
So Omega Labyrinth Z is the devil incarnate but this gets off the hook?
The simple answer is that those likely to raise issue simply didn’t know about these games. They are after all pretty obscure and will only sell to the same niche target audience over and over. They aren’t widely advertised or featured on supermarket display stands like Call of Duty and FIFA are so unless they are brought to the attention of SJW killjoys, nobody would notice their existence. The same subtle release have been true of Omega Labyrinth Z though had the VSC and other ratings boards across the globe not made it publicly clear that they’d refused to rate the game so why now and why not with the likes of Senran Kagura? You can make a safe monetary bet on the fact that if you showed the games that got away to pressure groups, they’d be outraged and calling for greater controls on our media (not a great thing at all).
So now I find myself at my next point. Omega Labyrinth Z was refused a rating by the VSC on the grounds that it is unacceptable and – more importantly for the point I am about to make – damaging to the “moral development of younger people”. First of all, I feel obliged to remind everybody that the ratings system is there for a reason. Supplying your ten year-old son with Grand Theft Auto is simply bad parenting. Likewise, buying your young child an 18 or ‘Mature’ rated game that has been rated so for its sexual content is also bad parenting. It isn’t the products themselves at fault. The VSC clearly mention “younger people” so if they mean consumers below the age of eighteen then they shouldn’t be playing the game in the first place. Let’s not encourage a culture of blame where “evil” entertainment or alleged poor regulation of media are at fault. Parents not taking heed of the age ratings on a game box and the symbols identifying the content (violence, sexual themes, bad language etc.) need to take some responsibility for their actions.
But let’s say for a moment that playing Omega Labyrinth Z could – worst case scenario – potentially turn a person into a raging, perverted paedophile with unsavoury sexual tastes. On a milder scale, let’s say that it could simply make perverts out of us or promote a subconscious, warped expectation of reality in male minds where all females should be made from an idyllic mould and shopping for F-Cup bras. Young, developing minds being tainted in this way is the concern that the VSC had about Omega Labyrinth Z but if this really such an issue then it would have already happened with the slew of previously released software that the VSC did grant ratings to. Senran Kagura, Dead or Alive, Onechanbara, Valkyrie Drive and too many other games/series’ to mention should have already corrupted gamers on a mass scale yet this isn’t the case. To be so easily influenced by the smut in these games would mean that you are either too young to be in possession of the game(s) in question (see my previous point about poor parenting) or that you are already mentally unstable to some degree and easily open to suggestion. This is a tiny percentage of people in reality and the vast majority of gamers playing erotic or sexy games aren’t going to be damaged by them.
I can defend the game as much as I like but even I find it impossible to defend the way characters’ busts jiggle wildly whenever they start speaking. For me, THIS is the sort of detail that goes too far, not the main content itself.
I have been playing the likes of Grand Theft Auto and other 18-rated games long before I was of the correct age according to the ratings logos on the boxes. Should my parents have bought these games for me? Not at all! However, I didn’t get negatively influenced by them and start roaming the streets, looking to terrorise the city. I didn’t get the idea of driving about dangerously at high speeds and I haven’t become some sort of sex pest with no respect for women. I played games filled with adult content and I certainly haven’t been damaged by them. Am I the only one? No. Everybody at school played the violent videogames well before they should have done and we have all grown up to lead normal, boring adult lives. Mortal Kombat didn’t spawn a generation of young gamers eager to beat others to a pulp and rip out their spines either.
We should also consider that this game originated in Japan. This is a country oft poked fun at for its seedy entertainment and obsession with schoolgirls yet it is also one of the countries with the lowest rates of sex crimes involving minors. If the likes of Omega Labyrinth were so dangerous then Japan – with its utter wealth of suspect software – should be a cultural disaster by now, ridden with rapists and paedophiles but this isn’t the case.
The evidence increasingly points to an overreaction on the VSC’s part and I while I can completely understand why they felt the need to block Omega Labyrinth Z from hitting UK store shelves, I also don’t see the game being the great devil that it has been made out to be.
My Personal Opinion on the game
So what do I think of the game and would I want to play it? First of all, no, I wouldn’t want to play Omega Labyrinth Z but not for the reasons that you’d expect. I wouldn’t play it because I find roguelikes dull and one of gaming’s lazy copy-paste formulas dressed up with different skins. As a gameplay experience, the banning of Omega Labyrinth Z is no massive loss.
Aa far as smutty content goes, I cannot deny that I do enjoy a bit of it. I’m a huge Dead or Alive fan and I also play the anime-styled JRPG’s that usually feature some saucy scripting or unnecessary hot spring side stories. As a veteran of these sorts of games, the majority of Omega Labyrinth‘s premise doesn’t strike me as anything new or particularly outrageous and had there not been a fuss kicked up about it then I wouldn’t have even raised an eyebrow at an RPG where the goal is to collect energy that increases the size of the female characters’ chests.
I don’t find this offensive at all unfortunately. Sorry.
As far as I am concerned, videogames (like movies and books) are escapism and I firmly believe in only the very worst being censored or banned. If somebody wants to ogle anime boobs then so what? Let them. Likewise, if somebody wants to piss away hours on a mobile phone puzzler (hours that could have been used on something a lot more constructive) then let them.
If I had to remove something from Omega Labyrinth Z that I wasn’t personally sold on then it would be the whole touching mini game because that does go too far in my own mind. I love me some digital T&A but I don’t get excited by virtually touching up a female character, especially when they DO look so young. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t fear for a moment that doing so in a videogame will transform me into some sort of hideous scourge on society but at the same time, it doesn’t turn me on and I do have to concede that the ratings boards were correct to question whether this element of the game was really included in good taste. Had it not been then I’d be a lot more confident that Omega Labyrinth Z would have had an 18 (or even a 16) slapped on the box and sent on its merry way. As it is, it seems like the developers were really pushing the boundaries of what was acceptable. That said, we must remember that the game was designed for the domestic Japanese market first (likely without any concern given to international consumption) and so we are judging a product that has not been made with our society in mind.
I’m less angry about this specific game being banned than I am about a game in general getting banned. I am heavily against censorship and the chokehold that it places on creativity and the arts. I am all for people being able to decide for themselves what they wish to consume or not consume – not for organisations to decide for them. Sure, this one game alone being banned won’t change much but there is always the “where does it end?” question that inevitably comes up when you stop to consider the possibilities. We live in a world where some are shouting loudly to ban this or ban that; demanding that we agree with them about their ideas of what is or isn’t offensive. I for one would like to retain the right to decide for myself.
Conclusions
Ultimately, I don’t think Omega Labyrinth Z should have been banned. As I said above, I believe that the VSC were correct to say “no” to the aspect of the game that involves touching up girls because let’s face it: it isn’t something in a videogame that anybody could proudly admit to doing is it? At the same time, I don’t for a second believe that the game was developed to promote or glorify such activity in real life. Pervy games have always existed in the Japanese domestic market and I see this as a case of a developer simply getting carried away and pushing the boundaries of acceptance. For something really nasty that definitely should have been banned, look no further than the infamous “Battle Raper” fighting game on the PS2…
But due to the inconsistencies with what draws the attention of those rating our entertainment, the fact that I don’t believe a game like this could genuinely damage minds and the fact that I think we need to be free to decide for ourselves what we feel comfortable with consuming, Omega Labyrinth should have been left alone. The game should have been released with the highest rating available and then it’s up to us to say “You know, I like the look of this game but some elements are a bit too much so I’ll pass”.
We need to also bear the snowball effect in mind when it comes to censorship, the resulting damage on the arts and pre-emptively bowing to the will of pressure groups. Capcom, don’t forget, censored certain aspects of Street Fighter V that it was concerned would draw criticism from some corners and that was – in my opinion – very sad to see. I certainly won’t lament missing out on Omega Labyrinth Z‘s roguelike gameplay but its banning over here in the UK carries greater symbolic significance in my mind.
Confession time: I do a very poor job of concealing my love of fighting games and yet – until very recently at least – I’ve never liked Mortal Kombat. It isn’t the fault of the series’ signature gore and excessive, almost comical blood-letting because as a fan of horror films and OTT slasher flicks in particular, I actually quietly approved of this frivolous violence. My REAL issue with Mortal Kombat has always been the fighting itself. While the likes of Street Fighter and Tekken involved fluid combos and smooth animation, Mortal Kombat was clunky and just…not fluid. I also didn’t really find myself drawn to many of the character designs either despite the iconic and creative fighting styles of the likes of Sub Zero and Scorpion.
I still distinctly recall picking up MK: Armageddon on the PS2 which was – at the time – the latest game with the biggest and most comprehensive roster ever. It did not impress me and I quickly binned it off, scolding myself for even bothering. Then, something pretty amazing happened: the series received a reboot of sorts for the PS3/360 simply entitled “Mortal Kombat” though the fighting game community referred to it as MK9 (a much better name…don’t get me started on the naming of sequels!). Cautiously, I decided to have another go and this time, I actually ENJOYED what I was playing! MK9 still felt a little ponderous and clunky in that “classic” Mortal Kombat fashion but this time, combos felt like they flowed better and there was at last a game that I wanted to learn. Brutal (in a great way) x-ray special moves made their debut and fatalities had never been so disgustingly graphic (again, in a great way!). It was still no contender for the my own personal Hall of Fighting Game Fame but it was at last a Mortal Kombat that I could call a “good game”.
MK9 pulled no punches whatsoever.
Happily, Netherealm/Warner Bros. saw fit to continue down this path of improvement and released Mortal Kombat X for next gen machines. More of the same but with even better aesthetics and gameplay, MKX won a lot of fans early on in the PS4/XBOne days – while fighting games were particularly thin on the ground – and sold deservingly well as a result. Thanks to my positive experience with MK9, I was definitely interested this time but I held fire on purchasing because I just knew that – as with MK9 – a “Komplete” edition of some sort with all the DLC on-disc would be released. As it transpired, MKX became the cleverly-titled MKXL and I duly purchased a copy. For one reason or another however, the game sat sealed on my shelf for a veeeeerrry long time until I finally decided to rip the cellophane off a couple of weeks ago.
As with Mortal Kombat (9) Komplete Edition, the XL version of MKX includes all of the previously released DLC outfits and characters and it’s the latter that were very special additions to the MK universe. MK9 hosted the legendary Freddy Krueger as a surprise (but fitting) guest fighter; MKX went even further, raiding the 70’s/80’s horror/sci-fi archives and sending tournament invites to the Predator, Alien, Jason Voorhees and Leatherface. I couldn’t help but be impressed and take notice of MKX on release purely for these classic movie characters since their respective movie franchises are ALL favourites of mine. Definitely a perfect example of guest characters that make sense in a fighting game unlike a few other instances that raised a fair few eyebrows…*cough* Soul Calibur IV *cough*
Another thing that has impressed me is that amount of content (or should that be ‘Kontent’?) in MKXL. For starters, the game features a pretty decent story mode with loads of cinematics and fights that really make you use most of the characters at least once. Some may not like this and I must admit that I’ve not really been a fan of it in the past when I already KNOW which characters I don’t want to use but since I’m not a massive MK veteran, a bit of forced experimentation with the roster is no bad thing.
So far I’ve settled on the fun combos of Sonya Blade and her cool daughter, Cassie (above).
Then there are the various survival modes and stacks of unlockables to collect from the ‘Krypt’ such as additional costumes and artwork. And when I say ‘stacks’? I mean it. There are loads of unlockables that can be purchased using the in-game currency which is thankfully pretty easy to accumulate by doing well in offline survival and arcade modes. All of this is good news because I’ve long being vocal about how crap Street Fighter V is for making the player pay for everything down to palette swaps and there are other fighting games that take a similar F2P approach where competitive online play is prioritised and offline types have bugger all to do. MKX may not be my favourite fighting game in terms of pure gameplay but it has my respect for not trying to squeeze every last penny from the player.
As for that all-important gameplay, I definitely still sense some of the classic MK clunkiness but X somehow feels a little better. I’m enjoying the combos a lot more and finding that experimentation with stringing them together seems to be a lot more viable this time around. I’m definitely here for the fighting this time as well as the entertainment factor that the ridiculous gore and fatalities provide.
Sub-Zero who? THIS is what we want to see!
Overall, it’s relatively early days for me and this game but I’ve cleared the story mode a while ago and been hammering the other offline modes with Sonya Blade and Cassie Cage, learning combos and working out how I want to play. This is a phase I would never have made it to with the ‘classic’ games in the series so I consider this proof enough that MKX (and MK9 before it) have at last transformed a gimmicky series into something half-decent. If I had any complaints at all then it would be that the character models still look a bit stiff and ugly (it’s difficult to explain…) compared to those in the likes of Tekken and that a lot of the past characters such as Cyber Sub-Zero and Scarlett are absent. Fatalities and Brutalities are also still a bit too situational and fiddly in some cases…having to keep referring to Google on my phone to work out what I’m doing wrong is annoying!
Otherwise, colour me impressed. As a veteran gamer who has seen a lot, it ain’t easy to do!
So far I’ve talked about why the Switch isn’t appealing to me right now and also the upcoming releases that potentially have the power to change my mind. The concluding part of my Switch ramblings is going to focus on the dream games that would certainly encourage me to part with my money if they were to ever see the light of day. Once more, I’ve organised my picks into a Top Five of no particular arrangement so without any further unnecessary talking…let’s go!
F-Zero
Yes, it’s the game that people have been demanding for years from Nintendo who seem wholly disinterested in bringing Captain Falcon and lightspeed futuristic racing back to a console near you. It didn’t happen on the Wii and it didn’t happen on the Wii-U either but there were a few teases last generation with the F-Zero-inspired Fast Racing Neo plus the F-Zero DLC for Mario Kart 8. A proper F-Zero sequel though? Nah; you’re dreaming, boy! F-Zero GX on the Gamecube was a stunning game: super fast, skill-demanding and beautiful to look at. The soundtrack deserves a huge mention too for being so flippin’ awesome (I have the soundtrack CD and listen to it regularly). True, it was a collab effort with Sega (and some Namco input) but even so, it’s a tragedy that GX remains the last main game in the series at this point in time (I’m not 100% on the release dates of the various GBA games…) and if Nintendo were ever to finally follow it up with a new installment that was at least on par with GX quality-wise, then I would buy a Switch to play it.
Disaster: Day of Crisis
One of the Wii’s true hidden gems, Disaster was a really fun survival game that mixed natural disaster survival with Time Crisis-style shooting sections to great effect. The Wii became known (sadly) for the many bad games that had motion controls shoe-horned in for no good reason other than to be seen to have implemented something. Disaster was one of those games that used motion controls in many different ways but in such ways that actually made sense and made you feel like you were interacting with the game rather than just flailing your arms for the hell of it. There was a cool first-person driving section for example, running away from walls of water or performing CPR. For a game that was stuck in development hell for a long time before finally surfacing, it was impressive that Day of Crisis managed to be so entertaining and that’s why I’d love a sequel. Yes, this is one instance where I would miss motion controls but give us another disaster scenario with some new characters and the same varied gameplay and I’d buy it for a dollar.
A proper Pokemon game
By ‘proper’ I mean a full-on handheld style adventure in 3D on the big screen. This may actually be a possibility if Nintendo do indeed wind their dedicated handheld focus down and pour everything into the Switch given how it is both a home and portable machine. In the past though, we have been cheated (I like to think so anyway) on numerous occasions. The two Pokemon Stadium games on N64 were essentially glorified 3D battles, Pokemon Colisseum on the Gamecube was a heavily simplified take on the traditional formula and its direct sequel – XD: Gale of Darkness – insulted by being more of the same with recycled locations and assets from Colisseum. The rest have been filler games such as Pokemon Channel or the shallow Pokemon Battle Revolution. Imagine if they made a full-on 3D, free-roaming world in a similar vein to Zelda: Breath of the Wild but with a bit more focus on story and (obviously) a more densely populated world? Imagine actually flying on one of your bird Pokemon and searching for new locations or travelling the seas and seeking out new islands just like in Zelda: The Wind Waker? The possibilities are actually huge and even though I’ve kind of fallen out with the franchise after Diamond/Pearl, I’d jump straight back in if my dream style of game hit the Switch.
A proper Paper Mario game
Once upon a time, Nintendo had an extremely endearing Mario spin-off RPG series on its hands. Packed full of charm, humour and challenge, these were seriously good RPG experiences with a beautiful art style to boot and so much creativity. I am of course only referring to the N64 and Gamecube installments of Paper Mario. I do personally like Super Paper Mario on the Wii but it was certainly different to what had come before. The real problems with the series began with Sticker Star on the 3DS and continued with Colour Splash on the Wii-U. It is said that Shigeru Miyamoto made the decision to bin off any original or Paper Mario-exclusive characters and this is why the newer games are populated with Toads, Koopas and…er…not much else. Bad gameplay design also reared its ugly head with certain areas of the games impassable unless you had a specific sticker or card which you may have to return to the hub world for and thus incur lots of painful, backtracking which needn’t have been necessary. Colour Splash did give out hints in advance in fairness but often by the way of cryptic clues which tended to frustrate rather than assist. The RPG style of the previous games was also severely watered-down and to cap it off, battles could often become impossible if you didn’t have the right stickers/cards. I did personally still enjoy these games to an extent (Colour Splash moreso) because the graphical style and creativity has never gone away but if Nintendo could give us a PROPER Paper Mario just like the old days then it would honestly be a system seller in my eyes.
Wave Race
The recent Mario games prove that Nintendo knows how to make beautiful water that you’d just love to leap right into. Couple this with the fact that racing games have never really died in popularity and I can see a Switch sequel to Wave Race being a very fun game. It’s another franchise that Nintendo has left to die in the wilderness with only a brief jet ski racing segment in Wii Sports Resort giving Wave Race fans any hope that something may happen. The major obstacle to a Wave Race resurgence would obviously be its general lack of popularity or recognition amongst the traditional famous Nintendo franchises but since this is a fantasy list, I don’t care. Make it happen and I will open my wallet.
So that concludes my series of Switch-related posts. Perhaps I came across as quite negative about Nintendo’s current console in Part 1 but the truth is, there are games on the horizon that could tempt me as well as the above dream sequels which would DEFINITELY tempt me. Thing is though, even leaving aside the fact that I feel burned for being a Wii-U owner, I also have a PS4 and various older machines so for me to invest money and time into another console…well, I need to be persuaded a little harder than others maybe. Thanks for reading and I will hopefully be back with some more regular posts very soon…
So last time (it’s been a while), I posted about why I haven’t been sold on the Nintendo Switch thus far despite being a Nintendo loyalist (in a non-rabid fanboy way) since the Gamecube. The release schedule of ports, upgraded Wii-U games and a general sense of feeling “forgotten” by Nintendo were my main reasons BUT I concluded by saying that I’d go away, have a look at the upcoming release schedule and report back with some games that might make me change my mind. Due to a bout of sickness (some form of super-cold of doom which is going around here in the UK right now) I haven’t been up to making that follow-up post but I’m back now with a Top Five list of upcoming Wii-U games that might tempt me to buy a Switch…
1. No More Heroes 3
If you’ve read my discussion piece on Suda51 then you’ll know that I’m a bit of a fan of No More Heroes and Suda51 in general. The first two games were a bit ropey as far as the technical side of things went but were immense fun thanks to the sheer style being served up with many side orders of out-there wackiness. I’m no longer 100% confident in saying that a Suda51 game will be definite hit (thanks to a few recent efforts being a bit disappointing) and wouldn’t even say that the likes of NMH3 are antidotes to the mainstream that we desperately need anymore BUT I would still like to play this based on how much I enjoyed the two Wii predecessors. The teaser trailer looks promising too so fingers crossed.
2. Mario Tennis Aces
Mario’s tennis outings have always been some of more enjoyable spin-offs starring Nintendo’s main man but recent installments have dropped the ball (hur, hur) somewhat. I didn’t play the 3DS version and the Wii-U’s Ultra Smash was widely regarded as a huge disappointment due to being a flimsy release with little content. Before that, the Wii received only a port of the Gamecube’s Power Tennis which in itself wasn’t a gold medal-winning game due to the divisive inclusion of super moves and the constant, unskippable cinematic animations that came as part of the deal. It’s actually the GBA version of Power Tennis that was considered to be last great Mario Tennis game and it isn’t hard see why. Gameplay was tight and addictive on the small screen and the accompanying story mode gave players something to sink their teeth into. It was a great game and it’s one that I still have on my shelf. Thankfully, Mario Tennis Aces is looking like it will make up for the run of disappointing sequels thanks to the inclusion of a story mode. I expect that the gameplay will be great as well and to be fair, that side of things hasn’t been the issue over recent years.
3. Fire Emblem Warriors
Okay, I’m kind-of cheating here because this game is already out BUT it made it onto this list because…I hadn’t realised that it had already hit the store shelves months ago! How did that sneak out? Talk about not keeping up with release schedules…sheesh. Anyway, I like Fire Emblem and I like the Warriors games from Koei so this should really be exactly my kind of game. The only sticking point for me is that they went down the fanservice route and filled the roster with Awakening and Fates characters. Understandable seeing as how they have to shift copies of the game but I was hoping for some more variety and not just the usual suspects that we’ve come to expect recently such as Lucina, Robin and Camilla’s over-worked bra. There are no characters from Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn for example. Looks like decent fun but I would have to buy it cheap which is never going to happen with the words “Fire” and “Emblem” together on the front cover…
Before I move on though, I will also make an honourable mention for the brand-new (traditional) Fire Emblem game that is slated for a 2018 release. There is no information or images as of yet however so nothing to go on. I will remain cautious due to how I currently feel about the series and the direction that Nintendo/Intelligent Systems have taken in recent years but even so, it’s got to be worth keeping an eye on.
4. Shin Megami Tensei 5
Before the increasingly-popular Persona series of RPG’s stole the limelight, Atlus also pumped out a fair few similarly dark (if not darker) RPG’s under the Shin Megami Tensei umbrella. In fact, many may forget that Persona 1-3 were released with the ‘SMT‘ prefix before the games finally found western fame and it was dropped. The “Megaten” games were great RPGs that offered something different and more niche versus the typical mainstream alternatives such as Final Fantasy and I’ve always been a big fan. Not much is known as of yet about Shin Megami Tensei V for the Switch but it’s being touted as an exclusive RPG for the system and it’s exactly the kind of thing that would make somebody like me sit up, look away from my Playstation and take notice. Of course, there’s every chance that Atlus might decide they need more return on their investment and also release SMT V for the PS4 but we aren’t privy to the details of their deal with Nintendo (if there is some sort of exclusitivity clause in action at all). For now, it makes my list.
5. Yoshi
I was a huge fan of Yoshi’s Woolly World for the Wii-U. The game looked beautiful with its unique thread-based visuals and was actually an extremely tough challenge to achieve 100% on; far more so than the naysayers slating it as a “kiddy” game would have you believe. It was the creativity oozing from what was on-screen that made me fall in love (as with Kirby’s Epic Yarn on the Wii) with Woolly World and Yoshi for the Switch looks set to run with that. The footage so far shows off a heap of interesting twists on the tried-and-tested 2D platformer and I’m impressed that Nintendo can keep finding ways to make their quirky platformers feeling unique. I’m definitely looking forward to this one, whatever the proper title for the game will be.
So that’s my top five (or top four if you discount my sly bit of cheating!). The third and final part of this series of Nintendo Switch-themed posts will focus on the games that I’d LIKE to see produced for the Switch…the kind of things that would definitely make me rush out and splurge on a console of my own. With this being Nintendo, there are loads of franchises that could tempt a veteran gamer like me…
“Well, why are you bothering to waste your time telling us that or moaning about something you don’t like?” I hear you ask.
Well, it’s a reasonable deal in fairness since I’ve been buying Nintendo’s home consoles since the Gamecube. I’ve bought into the platforms that struggled at market and I’ve defended the likes of the GC and it’s excellent first-party software as well as the Wii when uninformed types were saying “it’s shit” without even looking at the games. The Wii-U however? That was one child that needed the a LOT more defending than its older siblings and as an adopter of the console who stuck with it to the end, I actually feel quite aggrieved about the Switch and its success.
Now contrary to what you may be thinking, I’m NOT the kind of person who gets annoyed or even affected in general by the success of a product that I don’t wish to buy into so this isn’t going to be one of those rants where I tell people to “buy a proper console” or whatever. No, my grievance is simply with the fact that I feel at least slightly shafted by Nintendo. After all, some of the big games that have helped make the console so popular are things that I have already paid full-price for and enjoyed on the Wii-U. Mario Kart 8 for example is a fantastic game but I’m notbuying it again after paying out over £200 for a Wii-U, £40 (approx) for the game and then the DLC on top of that.
Other must-have games such as Pokken Tournament, Breath of the Wild and the upcoming ports of Hyrule Warriors and Bayonetta are all things that I have already played on the Wii-U. I suppose to sum up my gripe with the Switch, I would say that I think Wii-U supporters have quickly been forgotten. The likes of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe weren’t marketed as brand-new games but they certainly come with that image which is – in fairness – understandable given how a lot of people missed them the first time round on account of the Wii-U being such a relative retail flop.
But I paid a lot of money for these things and stuck by the Wii-U, comfortable with the knowledge that a small but perfectly-rounded library was no bad thing. The result of my loyalty is a follow-up console that I really don’t want when the best games currently available (Mario Odyssey aside) are things that I’ve already finished with. I can’t say that I think Nintendo actually care either because a large portion of the consumer base that have made the Switch a success are bound to be new customers who didn’t care about the Wii-U or even knew that it existed. We helped keep them afloat and now we have been ditched.
I DO want to play this but I can’t justify an entire console for one game. Last time I did that was with the Atari Jaguar for Tempest 2000 and it was daft!
That sounds more than a little bitter doesn’t it? Well, let’s continue with an open mind and have a look at what else is available shall we? The first barrier I hit is a very familiar one that blighted the early days of the Wii-U: updated ports of old games from other consoles. You have the likes of Resident Evil Revelations, Doom, Skyrim and LA Noire – all great games that won’t suddenly become rubbish by being on the Switch but I’m only interested in new experiences. Obviously, these versions of previously-available titles will be improved or more “complete” than the originals and being able to play them away from the TV screen is a fair selling point but they just don’t do it for me. Then there is the pricing issue…Doom for instance is currently £40 on Amazon whereas I can pick up a brand-new copy on the PS4 for between £10-£15.
Yes, these new versions are probably aimed at people who DON’T have loads of consoles or are Nintendo followers only but the fact remains that many gamers have multiple machines beneath the TV these days. Heck, it has become kind of mandatory since the days of the Wii to own a Nintendo console + either a Playstation or an Xbox since multi-platform releases haven’t really been possible since the Gamecube given the technical gulf between Nintendo’s hardware and those of Sony/Microsoft. When they DO arrive they are late and usually compromised in some way.
Ultra Street Fighter II is the kind of game that is certainly my kind of thing given how I’m a die-hard fan of fighting games but the harsh reality is that the game is simply an updated edition of HD Remix which came out years and years ago on PSN/XBLA. It is a superb update of Super Turbo but I don’t fancy buying it again just for Evil Ryu and Violent Ken, unless there is a bit of a bargain to be had of course.
A favourite of mine but again, I’ve already played it. Oh and Capcom? How many more revisions of Street Fighter II have you got left in you? I mean, really!
And away from the un-rewarded loyalty complex that the Switch has given me, this is the other main issue for me: excellent games that are difficult to justify buying unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last decade or are SO Nintendo that even the concept of holding a Dualshock controller is like being asked to stick your naked arm deep into the bowl of a public toilet that has been clogged-up for weeks.
So let’s be clear: I’m not saying that the games are shit, nor am I saying that the hardware is shit. I’m saying that there is little to entice me into getting involved with Nintendo’s latest offering. I’m glad that the Switch has been a success because things didn’t look good for Nintendo during the Wii-U days and as much as I feel part of a forgotten audience, there’s no way I’d have wanted to see them throw in the hardware towel. Ironically, it seems that the Switch is an amazing prospect if you HADN’T shown your support in the previous generation and passed-up the Wii-U because all of a sudden, you have loads of genuinely great games to play that won’t already be familiar territory.
So this leaves me one final angle to cover: looking to the future. Are there any brand-new games i.e. not ports/updates inbound for the Switch that would make me want to buy one? Well, there are some that I am aware of but possibly others that I’m not so stay tuned for a follow-up post where I will discuss my findings.
